1.
The
Distance From your Bed to Your Lecture Room seems so far away:
Remember that 7:00 am bus ride/walk you used to take in
order to get to school? Braving the cold, the wind, the ice- whatever the
weather? Now, the sun is shining and your lecture room is 5 minutes away- yet
the prospect of moving from your bed seems as daunting as being asked to climb
Mount Kilimanjaro. So you decide to give it a miss, where the furthest distance
you’ll be making all day is reaching for the TV remote.
2.
All sense
of motivation has evaporated:
When you arrived at university, you were pumped and ready to
go. You were going to work hard and you weren’t going to miss any lectures or
seminars. Now you’ve found that left to your own devices, you can barely bring
yourself to write the date on the top of your page. You’ll find yourself asking
questions such as “why am I here?” and “what’s the point?”- not forgetting the
constant dilemma about should I/should I not go to my lecture. The answer is
usually no, and the guilt plagues you for the rest of the day. But hey, at
least you were able to catch up on that episode of Breaking Bad.
3.
The
concept of meal times have become non-existent:
So you roll out of bed at 11:00 and have a lecture at 13:00.
Is it breakfast or lunch time? If you have a cereal does that count as
breakfast? What if you have cereal now and then a cheese toastie at 12:00? Or
is that too soon to eat lunch? Just some of the many thought processes of the
topic that most occupies the student mind: food. As a general rule, follow the
“three hour rule,” a product of my flatmate’s ingenious where you leave at
least 3 hours in between each meal. So then you don’t feel like a pig.
4.
Cards
Against Humanity is hilarious whilst
drunk:
If you weren’t aware, Cards Against Humanity is a popular
card game amongst students where players match a black card and a white card to
make a funny/totally inappropriate sentence. Played sober it’s funny, played
with a double vodka and coke in hand it’s hysterical- to the point where you
may have to go away for a while.
5. You’ve become a bit too comfortable around your
flatmates
It seems like yesterday you were all sat round a table-
forced to make conversation with each other, because by some cruel twist of
fate- you’ll be living with these people for the next year. Now you all feel
comfortable making inappropriate sex jokes and lounging around in your Team
Edward PJs (just me? Okay…) you’ve all started to communicate via strange
noises and useless emojis on Whatsapp. It’s a bizarre social set up, but it
works.
6. You’ve starting using phrases you never
have before
Like anywhere, if you stay in one place for too long, you
pick up a few things along the way. Words that you hate yourself for saying but
you still say them at every opportunity; my personal favourites being “legit”
as in legitimate. This is used to question everything e.g. “are you legit
having pizza for breakfast?” See also “misc” as in miscellaneous, to describe
anything ‘other’; e.g. “what biscuits are in the tin?” to which you answer
“misc.”
7. Everything can be prepared in the microwave
Your Mother taught you that the only use for the microwave
was heating up leftovers and the occasional Chicago Town pizza. At university,
the microwave is your go-to, because nobody’s
got time to figure out how the hob works. From carrots to scrambled egg- it
turns out almost everything can be cooked in a microwave. The dream is to
prepare an entire roast dinner using only a microwave. Watch this space.
8. Late at night is the most efficient time to
write that gazillion word essay. Due tomorrow.
You’ve spent most of the day procrastinating and musing over
that pile of work looming over you thinking “I’ll do it later.” Eventually, it
gets to 10pm and you figure you should probably make a start on that essay
that’s worth 60% of your grade. In these situations, you will realise that the
library is your friend. You may as well move some supplies into the library in
the meantime because you won’t be leaving any time soon. The record for time spent
in the library at my university is two days straight. 0/10- would not
recommend.
9. McDonald’s is inevitably where you’ll end
up after a night out.
You swore you wouldn’t do it, but after one too many jägerbombs
and dancing until your thighs burn, you’re suddenly ravenous- and handy enough,
McDonald’s is just around the corner. Without thinking twice, you’ve gone and
ordered a Big Mac Meal, a strawberry milkshake, a McFlurry and a fruit salad
bag, you know- just to balance all the junk out. And all you’re left with is a
full stomach and no money left for the taxi home. Oops.
10. University is surreal
It’s like this odd miniature society where you’re semi
independent, but also have a cleaner that comes to do your kitchen every
Monday. You whinge about lectures, you moan about essays and sometimes you just
want to drop out and go home. But part of you also loves it- and doesn’t ever
really want to leave.
This article is part of the "Diary of a Fresher Series" as a product of SHIFT UK, an online magazine encouraging a shift in topic, opinion and perspective. For more "Diary of a Fresher" articles as well as other brilliant articles, visit http://shiftukonline.wordpress.com/
