Confessions of a Social Media Addict

I downloaded Pinterest the other day. It was possibly the worst and best mistake of my life. I stayed up for two hours one night ‘pinning’ pictures of cats doing funny things, floral skirts and moody boys from angsty teenage bands. Why? It’s not because I don’t have a million and one other things to do, it’s because I literally can’t tear myself away from social media.

Snapchat took away it’s ‘Best Friend’ feature this week, a visible list of people you and other fellow snappers Snapchat most frequently. I was distraught, obviously, like many other Snapchat users, how else where you going to keep tabs other people’s relationships now?

It truly is a sad day when you come to the realisation that you count Twitter bird logos in your sleep and keep your phone next to your bed, just in case one of your friends sends you a snapchat of the Netflix programme they’re watching- you know, ground-breaking stuff.

To tell you the truth, no, I don’t care that you died your hair pink, and no, I don’t care that that it’s snowing where you are at the moment- that white stuff that falls from the sky, yeah, I’ve seen it before. I just like to be in the know- as in, I don’t care if you have that “cheeky Nando’s,” but if you do, I’d like to know about it please.

The same with Facebook- so called ‘friends’ that I probably wouldn’t know if I fell over them, I still can’t bring myself to delete from my virtual life. No, I couldn’t give two hoots about that mean girl I used to go to school with having her hundredth child, or has since gained a lot of weight- it just makes me feel better about myself.

I narrate my whole life over Twitter, which is totally unnecessary thinking about it. No one cares that my food shop is arriving tomorrow and no one cares that my lunch consisted of a donut and coffee that one time (although it did get ‘favorited’ by four people, just saying.)

I find myself trying to concentrate on a lecture that in an ideal, social media free world, I would find very interesting. But where there is a pen in one hand, there is also a phone in the other- with WhatsApp open, sending useless dolphin emojis and hysterical made up words to my flatmates.

Pinterest is just the final nail in the coffin really. Although my ‘boards’ are quite creatively named if I do say so myself (‘Cats: Masters of the Universe’ being my personal favourite) – there are only so many cat pictures one can take, if you can believe that to be possible.  

Now I’ve got that off my chest, I can also say it’s not only me. I’m not the only crazy internet lady around here. The people with their laptops open in lectures are either on Facebook, internet shopping or playing a really intense game of Tetris. And when there is that awkward pregnant pause in a conversation, people turn to their trusty smartphones for comfort- pretending to do something urgently important but are really scrolling through Kendall Jenner’s Instagram feed.

The, what I like to call ‘Professionals of Society’ seem to think we are in fact, obsessed with social media. But, hey, I could’ve told you that- so what is the psychology behind it all? Social psychologist Larry Rosen, writing for Psychology Today, states “We have not sunk to the level of psychiatric disorder like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder but we are not far away. Just watch people in the world around you. If you are watching a young person who is not looking at his or her phone keep watching. Soon that phone will come out of the pocket or purse, most likely without having gotten an alert or notification but being driven by a combination of pleasure and anxiety.”

If this is true, we have turned into the generation of insistence- we need constant stimulation from our digital friends and crave instant gratification in order to make us feel better about ourselves. And we love it. Don’t pretend that when you get over 11 likes on a ‘selfie’ you posted on Instagram, your next thought isn’t “someone hand me that damn modelling contract!”

Nothing we do matters any more unless someone else knows about it. Who cares that you had an amazing, once in a life time experience at Glastonbury if you don’t chronicle it in your Snapchat story? Who cares that you’re expecting unless you post weekly updates about the progress of your pregnancy?

So, yes my name’s Georgia and I’m a social media addict. It’s not something I’m proud of, there’s a chance it could be driven by crippling anxiety, but that’s not going to stop me telling you what I ate for dinner tonight via Twitter (…it was spaghetti Bolognese- come on, how could you not be interested?)   

Talking of which, fancy following me on Twitter and Instagram? Click on the links to right. 

More 'How To' guides, reviews and other miscellaneous material coming soon! 

As always, thank you so much for reading!  

Diary of a Fresher: 10 Things Every Fresher has Learnt since Starting University

1.       The Distance From your Bed to Your Lecture Room seems so far away:

Remember that 7:00 am bus ride/walk you used to take in order to get to school? Braving the cold, the wind, the ice- whatever the weather? Now, the sun is shining and your lecture room is 5 minutes away- yet the prospect of moving from your bed seems as daunting as being asked to climb Mount Kilimanjaro. So you decide to give it a miss, where the furthest distance you’ll be making all day is reaching for the TV remote.

2.       All sense of motivation has evaporated:

When you arrived at university, you were pumped and ready to go. You were going to work hard and you weren’t going to miss any lectures or seminars. Now you’ve found that left to your own devices, you can barely bring yourself to write the date on the top of your page. You’ll find yourself asking questions such as “why am I here?” and “what’s the point?”- not forgetting the constant dilemma about should I/should I not go to my lecture. The answer is usually no, and the guilt plagues you for the rest of the day. But hey, at least you were able to catch up on that episode of Breaking Bad.

3.       The concept of meal times have become non-existent:

So you roll out of bed at 11:00 and have a lecture at 13:00. Is it breakfast or lunch time? If you have a cereal does that count as breakfast? What if you have cereal now and then a cheese toastie at 12:00? Or is that too soon to eat lunch? Just some of the many thought processes of the topic that most occupies the student mind: food. As a general rule, follow the “three hour rule,” a product of my flatmate’s ingenious where you leave at least 3 hours in between each meal. So then you don’t feel like a pig.

4.       Cards Against Humanity is hilarious whilst drunk:

If you weren’t aware, Cards Against Humanity is a popular card game amongst students where players match a black card and a white card to make a funny/totally inappropriate sentence. Played sober it’s funny, played with a double vodka and coke in hand it’s hysterical- to the point where you may have to go away for a while.

 

5.       You’ve become a bit too comfortable around your flatmates

It seems like yesterday you were all sat round a table- forced to make conversation with each other, because by some cruel twist of fate- you’ll be living with these people for the next year. Now you all feel comfortable making inappropriate sex jokes and lounging around in your Team Edward PJs (just me? Okay…) you’ve all started to communicate via strange noises and useless emojis on Whatsapp. It’s a bizarre social set up, but it works.

 

 

6.       You’ve starting using phrases you never have before

Like anywhere, if you stay in one place for too long, you pick up a few things along the way. Words that you hate yourself for saying but you still say them at every opportunity; my personal favourites being “legit” as in legitimate. This is used to question everything e.g. “are you legit having pizza for breakfast?” See also “misc” as in miscellaneous, to describe anything ‘other’; e.g. “what biscuits are in the tin?” to which you answer “misc.”

7.       Everything can be prepared in the microwave

Your Mother taught you that the only use for the microwave was heating up leftovers and the occasional Chicago Town pizza. At university, the microwave is your go-to, because nobody’s got time to figure out how the hob works. From carrots to scrambled egg- it turns out almost everything can be cooked in a microwave. The dream is to prepare an entire roast dinner using only a microwave. Watch this space.

8.       Late at night is the most efficient time to write that gazillion word essay. Due tomorrow.

You’ve spent most of the day procrastinating and musing over that pile of work looming over you thinking “I’ll do it later.” Eventually, it gets to 10pm and you figure you should probably make a start on that essay that’s worth 60% of your grade. In these situations, you will realise that the library is your friend. You may as well move some supplies into the library in the meantime because you won’t be leaving any time soon. The record for time spent in the library at my university is two days straight. 0/10- would not recommend.

9.       McDonald’s is inevitably where you’ll end up after a night out.

You swore you wouldn’t do it, but after one too many jägerbombs and dancing until your thighs burn, you’re suddenly ravenous- and handy enough, McDonald’s is just around the corner. Without thinking twice, you’ve gone and ordered a Big Mac Meal, a strawberry milkshake, a McFlurry and a fruit salad bag, you know- just to balance all the junk out. And all you’re left with is a full stomach and no money left for the taxi home. Oops.

10.   University is surreal

It’s like this odd miniature society where you’re semi independent, but also have a cleaner that comes to do your kitchen every Monday. You whinge about lectures, you moan about essays and sometimes you just want to drop out and go home. But part of you also loves it- and doesn’t ever really want to leave.

 

This article is part of the "Diary of a Fresher Series"  as a product of  SHIFT UK, an online magazine encouraging a shift in topic, opinion and perspective. For more "Diary of a Fresher" articles as well as other brilliant articles, visit http://shiftukonline.wordpress.com/