Saturday, 29 November 2014

Diary of a Fresher: 10 Things Every Fresher has Learnt since Starting University

1.       The Distance From your Bed to Your Lecture Room seems so far away:

Remember that 7:00 am bus ride/walk you used to take in order to get to school? Braving the cold, the wind, the ice- whatever the weather? Now, the sun is shining and your lecture room is 5 minutes away- yet the prospect of moving from your bed seems as daunting as being asked to climb Mount Kilimanjaro. So you decide to give it a miss, where the furthest distance you’ll be making all day is reaching for the TV remote.

2.       All sense of motivation has evaporated:

When you arrived at university, you were pumped and ready to go. You were going to work hard and you weren’t going to miss any lectures or seminars. Now you’ve found that left to your own devices, you can barely bring yourself to write the date on the top of your page. You’ll find yourself asking questions such as “why am I here?” and “what’s the point?”- not forgetting the constant dilemma about should I/should I not go to my lecture. The answer is usually no, and the guilt plagues you for the rest of the day. But hey, at least you were able to catch up on that episode of Breaking Bad.

3.       The concept of meal times have become non-existent:

So you roll out of bed at 11:00 and have a lecture at 13:00. Is it breakfast or lunch time? If you have a cereal does that count as breakfast? What if you have cereal now and then a cheese toastie at 12:00? Or is that too soon to eat lunch? Just some of the many thought processes of the topic that most occupies the student mind: food. As a general rule, follow the “three hour rule,” a product of my flatmate’s ingenious where you leave at least 3 hours in between each meal. So then you don’t feel like a pig.

4.       Cards Against Humanity is hilarious whilst drunk:

If you weren’t aware, Cards Against Humanity is a popular card game amongst students where players match a black card and a white card to make a funny/totally inappropriate sentence. Played sober it’s funny, played with a double vodka and coke in hand it’s hysterical- to the point where you may have to go away for a while.


5.       You’ve become a bit too comfortable around your flatmates

It seems like yesterday you were all sat round a table- forced to make conversation with each other, because by some cruel twist of fate- you’ll be living with these people for the next year. Now you all feel comfortable making inappropriate sex jokes and lounging around in your Team Edward PJs (just me? Okay…) you’ve all started to communicate via strange noises and useless emojis on Whatsapp. It’s a bizarre social set up, but it works.



6.       You’ve starting using phrases you never have before

Like anywhere, if you stay in one place for too long, you pick up a few things along the way. Words that you hate yourself for saying but you still say them at every opportunity; my personal favourites being “legit” as in legitimate. This is used to question everything e.g. “are you legit having pizza for breakfast?” See also “misc” as in miscellaneous, to describe anything ‘other’; e.g. “what biscuits are in the tin?” to which you answer “misc.”

7.       Everything can be prepared in the microwave

Your Mother taught you that the only use for the microwave was heating up leftovers and the occasional Chicago Town pizza. At university, the microwave is your go-to, because nobody’s got time to figure out how the hob works. From carrots to scrambled egg- it turns out almost everything can be cooked in a microwave. The dream is to prepare an entire roast dinner using only a microwave. Watch this space.

8.       Late at night is the most efficient time to write that gazillion word essay. Due tomorrow.

You’ve spent most of the day procrastinating and musing over that pile of work looming over you thinking “I’ll do it later.” Eventually, it gets to 10pm and you figure you should probably make a start on that essay that’s worth 60% of your grade. In these situations, you will realise that the library is your friend. You may as well move some supplies into the library in the meantime because you won’t be leaving any time soon. The record for time spent in the library at my university is two days straight. 0/10- would not recommend.

9.       McDonald’s is inevitably where you’ll end up after a night out.

You swore you wouldn’t do it, but after one too many jägerbombs and dancing until your thighs burn, you’re suddenly ravenous- and handy enough, McDonald’s is just around the corner. Without thinking twice, you’ve gone and ordered a Big Mac Meal, a strawberry milkshake, a McFlurry and a fruit salad bag, you know- just to balance all the junk out. And all you’re left with is a full stomach and no money left for the taxi home. Oops.

10.   University is surreal

It’s like this odd miniature society where you’re semi independent, but also have a cleaner that comes to do your kitchen every Monday. You whinge about lectures, you moan about essays and sometimes you just want to drop out and go home. But part of you also loves it- and doesn’t ever really want to leave.
This article is part of the "Diary of a Fresher Series"  as a product of  SHIFT UK, an online magazine encouraging a shift in topic, opinion and perspective. For more "Diary of a Fresher" articles as well as other brilliant articles, visit


No comments:

Post a Comment