How To #7: How to Get An Ex Back

Normally, I avoid these sorts of articles at all costs. They make me cringe and feel like I’m some kind of agony aunt. But, alas, it was one of the top suggestions this week, so here are my top tips for getting an ex back. Ugh.

WARNING: From my own and others’ experiences, I would never actually recommend trying to get an ex back- THERE WAS A REASON YOU BROKE UP, REMEMBER? Whether she cheated or he kept leaving his pants on the floor, is this really something you can live/put up with again?

1.       If you decided to completely ignore my warning, than more fool you. My first top tip for getting an ex back is to become the person he or she ‘fell in love with.’ Sound cheesy? That’s because it is, but apparently it seems to work. i.e. if she loved your humour, than be funny and if he loved your intelligence, then be smart or whatever.

 

2.       Prepare your first words- i.e. when you next bump into your ex, don’t cry or laugh hysterically or immediately start an argument, e.g. “WHY DID YOU DUMP ME?” No. They will most probably run off in the other direction and whoopsies, you’re back to square one. Example conversations starters include “Hi, how have you been doing?” – any awkward pauses after this point is all down to you folks.

 

 

3.       Use the past to your advantage: Did they love it when you had a beard? Grow it out! Did he love it when you wore your hair that way? Get down to the nearest hair salon. Remind them of the past you shared with them. Note to all divorcees- do not use this as an excuse to walk around in your wedding dress 24/7, this is unnecessary and also a little odd.

 

4.       Find out if they still care- If they have moved on, i.e. fallen in love, gotten married and had ten kids, they obviously don’t care about you in that way anymore. Do you have any mutual friends? Get them to casually throw you into a conversation- though try not to use your most extraverted friend for this task as all kinds of cats will be let out of the bag.

 

 

5.       Ask if they’d like to do something non-committal with friends: so you found out that they still care- great! To move the re-patching process along- go to the movies with a large group of friends so it doesn’t seem obvious that you have orchestrated this whole thing just to get them back.

 

6.       Let them know you were thinking about them- so, you’re on this large, non-committal gathering and your friends ditch you one by one, leaving you and your ex alone together. Awkward. To get a conversation going, bring up past events, preferably that relate to the current event. So if you’re at a party, say “hey, remember that time you threw up on the sofa at Jess’s party?” DO NOT SAY “Remember that time we were madly in love with each other?”

 

 

7.       Pay attention to your appearance if you have been neglecting yourself in that department: e.g. if you have been sat at home watching Netflix eating ice cream for the past month and have not even bothered to shave your legs- DO SO PLEASE, or wear trousers if it’s winter. WIN.

 

8.       Stop Caring About How Others Perceive You: A break-up can really knock your self confidence, which can be rectified if you stop giving a damn about what others think of you. Even if your friends tell you that you are cray cray for giving your ex another chance, if you think you are completely and utterly sane in your decision, then go for it.

 

 

9.       Remain positive- if nothing seems to be working, this is by far my favourite “look at me, I’ve moved on” tip. Social media is a wonderful thing, so use it- upload pictures of you having a whale of a time without them- it will make them realise what they’re missing.

 

10.   Remember, no situation is hopeless- even if nothing seems to be working and you want to crawl up with ice cream and a Gossip Girl box set for the rest of your life, unfortunately society says this isn’t the proper way to live. As my mum loves to say, “there are plenty more fish in the sea,” which is perhaps the only true cliché saying I have ever come across. Give being single a go- switch the Taylor Swift to the Beyonce and the vodka to a pina colada- you’ll have loads more fun, trust me.

 

Best of luck!

Love, Georgia x

Fretting over relationships? There isn’t much in the way of relationship blogs (surprise!)  but ’20 Nothings,’ a blog which I have mentioned previously, takes a gloriously witty approach to relationships and life during your 20s (and 30s)-  definitely worth a read.